I have a problem with work-life balance. My problem is that I think the concept is bullshit. Or, perhaps more eloquently, it elicits unintended visuals for me which, in turn, lead me down an unintended path with outcomes misaligned with my ultimate work-life balance goals of peace, happiness, and fulfillment. It also implies equal parts work and life and distinguishes the two as though they’re separate.
Is work not a part of life? Why demote life to be peer to work? Why amplify work to have equal billing as life? What about Health? Relationships? Faith? Fun? Growth? Even sleep? They’re all part of life too, no? Pithy as work-life balance may sound, life balance might be more appropriate, albeit less specific, acknowledging that there are many aspects under the umbrella of life that should be considered when seeking balance.
Now let’s double-click on the balance part. When I hear work-life balance, I see a balance scale in my mind, with a big pile of work on the left and another of life on the right. Do the piles balance or not? Left there, it generally works. Unfortunately, beyond this, the visual breaks down for me. Let’s define the piles. Setting aside the earlier comment that work is but a part of life, assume we could separate the two, a la 'work life' and 'non-work life'. Since we all have 24 hours in our day, it would follow that we would all have the same amount of work life and non-work life to put on each end of the scale and that balance would occur with a ratio of one part work life to one part non-work life.
Without further abusing the visual with what-ifs about how the mass of work life might differ from the mass of non-work life (as a dork like me would “eye-rollingly” do!), that means 12 hours of work life and 12 hours of non-work life each day. Clearly this doesn’t pass the sniff test. Why? For one thing, sleep! Sleep is definitely important but isn’t in this equation unless it’s included in non-work life. Regardless, let’s carve out sleep, say, 8 hours that most adults strive for. Hey, now we’ve got 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of work life, and 8 hours of non-work life. Much better. All done. Right?
Wrong. How could we possibly find balance during vacations without our 8 precious hours of work life each day? How could we reconcile feelings of balance on an energizing day where we encroached on some of our non-work life – or some of our sleep? Ultimately, the concept of work-life balance is flawed.
I prefer life harmony. It inherently provides the flexibility needed for different life situations. It invites all parts of life, including work, health, relationships, and beyond, to be involved in the solution. But if it’s not equal parts work and life, or even equal parts of each aspect of life, what is it? What’s the formula?! It’s actually quite simple to identify (though less simple to implement): look inward to find out what matters to you. What do you value? If you know what matters to you and you honor those values, you will feel life harmony.
Maybe you value family, hard work, team success, and physical fitness. That late-night group project at work that led to closing a big deal is energizing and it honors two of those values, yet it took away from your family time, gym time, and sleep. Following it up with a family hike and picnic acknowledges the other two values in a real and non-token way. Patience to honor all of your values with a real commitment to doing so is key to feeling sustained peace, happiness, and fulfillment.
So do the work – invest in really understanding what matters to you. When you do, use them to filter your days and set your priorities. Then enjoy the harmony in your life …even if your work-life balance sucks.
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